I have a friend, N. She is in labour as I write this. It is the most emotional labour I know of. She is a fantastic friend. A truly special person who deserves to become a mummy, and soon she will be.
I have never met N or spoke to her on the phone. I don't know her address and I don't know if I ever will meet her. Although I would love to.
Now this may all seem strange to you. How come she is my friend? How do I know her?
Well we 'met' online on a particularly sad board on a baby website. We had both experienced miscarriages which is how we were thrown together. A group of us then set up a private facebook group where some of us have gone on to have babies, others have failed to get pregnant and some are sadly still having miscarriages. N is one of the long timers who became pregnant after numerous failed IVF attempts.
Many a night has been spent praying for successful egg collection and egg transfer, praying the embryo with embed and remain 'sticky'. Hoping the hpt will show a positive result 2 weeks later. We have held each others virtual hands through early scans, bleeding, cramps and the milestone dates such as 12 week scans and getting further then we managed in previous unsuccessful pregnancies.
In our group we have 'chatted' away through arguments with out husbands and the temptations to give up trying to conceive. Many conversations have resulted in our husbands being thrown into virtual doghouses and some are not allowed out!
I know these ladies better then I know some on my friends in real life. They know my deepest darkest secrets and my hopes and fears. Nothing is taboo in this group of friends. Unlike in real life where we may keep our fears of husbands being up to no good or drinking too much a secret from our friends. Where we may not tell them what we weigh and how much we actually ate for tea last night. We may hide our ocd's from them and pretend we don't hang our clothes in colour and style order. We certainly wouldn't discuss feeling our cervix or which pile cream is best with most of our real life friends.
Yet this group of friends I have online that I talk to all day and every night know all of this. They are there for me literally day and night. You can guarantee if I have a worry I can ask this group of girls and one of them will answer me within minutes. They don't think "oh no not her again worrying about something else".
N is not the last to become a mummy, we are still hoping there will be others in our little group. But she is one of the long timers. She has suffered more then her fair share and I am delighted that she is soon to become a mummy. She is living her dream and is currently in labour. She will soon take home her precious little baby. The one we all prayed for when it was just a cluster of cells in a dish. The one we held our breath every night for weeks waiting to hear if the transfer was successful. The one we know will have the most fantastic life because this baby was wanted so much, and has a group of cyber aunties that will be monitoring its every achievement in life.
We are waiting for your birth announcement little baby...